Things I am thankful for.....

As I wait for the arrival of my boys during the longest pregnancy on record  [ok- not to you AP out there it isn't !], I read articles and books on bonding, adjusting, etc.  There is a great book called "Twenty things your adopted child would like you to know." Now here is a book for me, a list. I love lists ! I live by them and my husband says it is because I am OCD.  Ok, Maybe I am a little. But lists seem to organize my life and when books give me rules and lists to follow, it makes it very black and white. So I read the book and I must admit that there is not one complete list, darn !  But, it is full of great information.
One of the things that I am very thankful for is that we have a lot of information on the twins' birth mother and family. Many families that adopt internationally never have much or any information at all to share with their children, should the questions ever arise.  We have names, ages, DOB, and cities for all family members. It will be kept hidden away in our safe and someday, should our boys want to find their birth mother or another family member in Russia, I will hand it over. It is their right, it is their past and it is their history.

I was never one who believed in not telling children the truth. Children can handle a lot more than we give them credit for.  Not answering questions about adoption or their past may create questions in their own mind about who they are and where they came from.  I agreed with almost all the points made in the book. It is ok for a child to feel different from you, they are. We all are. Their history is their heritage and they are luck enough to have more than one.

I don't judge their birth mother, but rather I thank her. I would not have this beautiful gift she has given me if not for the decision she made almost 22 months ago.  I do wonder if she thinks about the boys, wonders where they are, how they are or how they are growing.  These are the thoughts that I plan on sharing with my boys someday and I welcome any questions they may have. 

When children are left in the dark, they live in the dark and that's not a friendly place to be.  I don't ever want my boys to feel they were unwanted by their birth mom. They were wanted and that's why she brought them to this world, so we could have two wonderful boys as our only children.  They are extensions of her and will become extensions of us as well.

"A child is a miraculous gift from God, no matter how one receives it. Some are given the ability bear them, others the ability to rear them."
This quote is so true. I felt I was always ready and able to handle motherhood, but for God's reasons I was unable to bear my own children. I would like to assume that His reason was because these boys were waiting for me, somewhere in the future that He could see and I couldn't.  he understood and now I understand. The pain all makes sense to me.

"Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It's something quite magical."  Nicole Kidman, Adoptive parent
How could we ever appreciate the sunshine if we never had any cold rainy days?  We wonder why pain, suffering and trial come to us. Some more than others.  But if the road was smooth and easy would we really appreciate the finish as much?  The stroll would be nice and sunny and relaxing, so who cares when it ends?!  Sometimes that mountain has to be treachurous in order to really understand the view from the top of it.

"It has been said that adoption is more like a marriage than a birth: two (or more) individuals, each with their own unique mix of needs, patterns, and genetic history, coming together with love, hope, and commitment for a joint future. You become a family not because you share the same genes, but because you share love for each other." Joan McNamara, Adoptive parent
I suupose adoption is like a marriage in so many ways.  Much the way I found my wonderful husband Joe after many years of heartache, I also found my boys.  "God Bless the Broken Road that led me straight to you. "

Again, I am thankful. Thankful to my family for their support, thankful to the orphange for taking care of my boys while I am away, thankful for all the coordinators that work hard to bring families together and most of all; thankful for a very difficult decision Pasha and Sasha's birth mother made.
"If you love some one unconditionally and with your whole heart, than you will do what is best for them not you. I have never learned a harder lesson than giving my child up for adoption and I probably never will." Anonymous Birth Mother