I am letting myself get more and more excited everyday, but I am cautious about what will happen while in country. I know, I have to be positive and believe me that I am when it comes to my boys, but I am very cautious and negative when it comes to the B judge !
We leave Saturday from JFK and it seems we have everything. Nothing new was asked for (yet). Our visas and the LAST document come today via UPS and off we go tomorrow.
I honestly still cannot understand why we have to be there 2 weeks before court and frankly I am still kind of peeved about that. If we didn't have to be there 2 weeks before court then we would have stayed the 10 day waiting period; but Joe cannot take 4-5 weeks off of work. (Frankly, who can !). What I cannot understand is that families that use FRANK ADOPTION seem to have to stay this 2 weeks, but other families do not.
Julie, another Adoptive parent I talk to online, is leaving 16 Dec to arrive 17 Dec and her court is 22 Dec.
When I questioned FRANK ADOPTION about this [not mentioning the families name of course] , I got the standard, we don't set the dates; its what the courts dictate to us and that's what we have to do. I don't think the courts dictate WHEN we go to Russia??? I never heard of this. I just think its another way to boost their economy and make me pay for driver/translator for 15 days and hotel for 15 days.
I don't care about spending the extra money, but I would have rather spent it on the 10 day and spent that time with my boys and NOT leave them after being with them for 2 solid weeks and have them wonder why MaMa and PaPa left again?!!!
This is so CRUEL on Russia's part and I just cannot forgive them for this behavior. I try so hard to understand it, but I just can't. Well I guess that's why I'm the Mommy and not Judge !
So, we are just gonna go and make the best of a trip 3. I pray we don't get caught up in the Holiday shutdown in January, although FRANK ADOPTION tells me that we won't.....but I have heard those stories before. We shall see. We have lots of folks waiting to meet Jack and Noah and mostly, we are waiting to be parents. It's just been too long.
Maybe with time my bitterness towards this region will diminish, I only hope it does. I know I would never tell my boys anything bad but I certainly would try to steer away families waiting if I could. The expense and the time is not fair to the children or the parents. I would never trade a day of it, because without it I would not have my boys; but I will advocate for more transparency and for the agencies to be responsible, step up to the plate and REALLY tells PAPs what is going on. Let them know BEFORE they enter a region what it will be like. My original experience and questions about Ekat were severely sugarcoated.
I thank the families I spoke to; you guys are the only ones that tell it like it is !
ADOPTIVE FAMILIES are the most invaluable and precious resource through this entire process !!!
Love all of you, Have a very Merry Christmas and I will speak to you from the other side soon !!
Sandy's Quote of the Day:
Hope, deceitful as it is, serves at least to lead us to the end of our lives by an agreeable route.
2 comments:
I know you're there already giving those wee boys lots of lovin'!
Enjoy your trip -- and we'll all be waiting on the edge of our seats for any and all info!
~Laura
Oh...forgot to mention why the difference in dates between you guys and "the other couple," which was atleast the case when we were there.
The other couple is there with another agency, hence, with the other judge. The female judge wants PAPs to spend *atleast* a week or more with the kids before going to court for bonding reasons, taking pictures, etc. whereas the male judge has different requirements.
The female judge had a bad experience a few years back with a couple who returned the two children just days after the adoption was finalized ~ an adoption that SHE granted. She really wants to make sure you bond and that you're sure you're ready to parent the two children. (WE know you're ready and sure, but she wants to know it, too!)
I know this doesn't help much, but this is our understanding of the situation. Now go back to enjoying those smiles/giggles/hugs from the boys!!
~Laura :)
Post a Comment