We rested last night and tried to recuperate from our nasty head colds and today we will see the kids again and meet with the Social Worker. We should have some updated information on the boys' birth family and hopefully some passports photos as well. We hope to hold this stuff and if someday the boys want more information about their birth family, they have it available.
We have made a few observations about Russia and Russians while here for this week. This is by no means to demonize the Russian culture, they are just mere observations. One thing we noticed is that civility and general kindness does not exist on the streets as it would in the USA. If you see anyone holding a door open for a lady for an elderly person, it's probably an American. The workers in stores are somewhat helpful with language and such, but smiles are rare unless there is a specific reason to issue you one. Americans might walk down the street and glance at a stranger and say Good Morning; but you won't find a word spoken to each other by strangers on the street here, unless its to yell something at someone.
We were driving to the orphanage the other day and while in the car we noticed an older woman in her fabulous fur coat, bite it on the ice; Down she went bag and all. There were several people waiting at a bus stop not more than 10 feet from where she fell and no one even shrugged. Joe and I were taken back by this as we had an overwhelming desire to get out of the car and assist the woman, and Americans would have surely run over and assisted the fallen woman in the USA. But here, it was more of a nuisance that someone could even fall too close from them and one woman simply brushed snow off of her pants and avoided eye contact with the woman on the ground. Pushing and Shoving in stores and lines and doorways are the norm, not the exception. In America, we usually reserve that behavior for Black Friday Sales and Concerts !
However, dressing to the nines and making sure you are wearing the lastest fur, the newest highest boots, the best leather bag.....this is the Russia we have seen. They are very much concerned with appearances and superficial vanity. Yes, the Americans stand out; I admit that I was even guilty of pointing out a couple one night as we sat having a drink. The woman came in the hotel lobby with her Hello Kitty Bag, Bright Turquise Puffy Jacket and sneakers and her husband, wearing a baseball cap, carried a backpack so overloaded that he tipped backward if he didn't hold onto the check in counter. I turned to Joe and said "They have to be American". Wow, I was becoming superficial.......no !!! But it was comical anyway to observe the differences in people while travelling.
Americans do stand out in Europe, no doubt, but Europeans also stand out in America. The difference is that we Americans are not concerned with how someone is dressed in line at the pharmacy, or if they aren't carrying the newest lastest bag. If we see someone walking in 6 inch heeled boots and a fur coat and there is 1 foot of snow outside, we say to ourselves "They must have a wedding to go to". But rest assured that if that woman fell while walking in America, anyone near her would come over to assist. We get stares as we walk over snow piles to access street corners and my husband puts out his hand to help me over. We even get stared at when we walk arm in arm down the street; but we don't care. We are dressed properly, we have our designer bags, we wear nice boots and coats - but honestly, I miss my sweatpants and sweatshirts!
So, it isn't that Americans are bullish or slobs, it's jsut that I have noticed that we care about people more than we do superficial appearances. That isn't saying there aren't any snobs in America hidden amongst the slobs; but we put civility above vanity. I will take my walks in the USA and nod good morning to a stranger on the street, hold a door open for an elderly man or woman, and certainly assist a fallen fur clad lady. I will take wear my sweatpants and sweatshirts proudly, I will watch football on tv on Sundays and not stumble down the street with a half empty bottle of Jamesons. I will sit in our civil traffic jams and not pass ambulances because my emergency is more important.
Russia and most of Europe adheres to a strict etiquette; what is proper and what is not. How to dress, how to act, what and who to wear; But they fail to reserve civilty and human kindness in their daily lives.
I enjoy my time visiting other cultures, but I will stick to the brutal normalcy of America over any country.
We are just Nice !
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